Man living in freezing apartment puts his foot down against a hot-headed upstairs neighbor: 'And do NOT put any more notes on our door!'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jan 28, 2024 8:00 PM EST

It is day 342 of the longest January of existence and everyone is too darn cold. At first, the charms of winter delight and surprise us, reminding everyone to cozy up to their heater, tuck in their shirts and keep their ears warm, but society has been up to their gills in snow, arctic blizzards, and calamitous weather– We're over it. 

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  • Snowmen aren't cute anymore, everyone's taken down their Christmas lights, and you're starting to wish you worked from home to save from driving on icy roads. And with people becoming jaded about the wonders of winter, there are bound to be prickly folks whose chill goes through their bones and straight to the heart.

  • In our next story, a couple discovers that their upstairs neighbor was profiting off of their heating bill, except, as it turns out, the neighbor upstairs was well accustomed to the frozen tundras of the wilderness. After several passive-aggressive notes telling them to turn down the heat (as it was making her upstairs apartment a comfortable 70 degrees), OP decided to lay down the law.

    Scroll for the entire story of how one man got a little heated with his upstairs neighbor.

  • 01
    "My wife and I will NOT freeze ourselves to make YOU comfortable"
    via canva
  • 02
    r/AmltheA Troubled Heater • 18 hr. ago . AITA for refusing to turn my heat down further to make my upstairs neighbor comfortable? Not the I, (45M) and my wife (42F); live in a house converted into an apartment. We've lived here for 6 years, have had two really good neighbors and then there's the current one.
    via TroubledHeater
  • 03
    We try to be good neighbors. We live on the first floor, the neighbor lives on the second. Each apartment is a separate unit with its own bathroom, kitchen, living room, electric bill, water bill, trash etc. Each unit has its own heater/thermostat which is where this issue arises.
    via TroubledHeater
  • 04
    Last week where we live, the temperature dropped into single negative numbers during the day, double negative at night along with 13" of snow. My wife and I were reasonably cold so I turned our heat up to 72 from 68 degrees(f) Things were going well for that week and the temperatures began to rise again; so I turned the heat down to 70.
    via TroubledHeater
  • 05
    Two days ago, the temperature high was 29 (it felt like 25) so I left the heat at 70. Our upstairs neighbor (F - I honestly don't know her age but I guess around 35-40?) knocked on our door and asked us to turn down our heat because her apartment was 76 degrees. I apologized and agreed to lower it back down to 68. Later that evening, there was another
    via TroubledHeater
  • 06
    knock on our door and it was her again, saying her apartment was still hot (she even brought her thermometer down) and requested that we turn our heat down further. I told her that we had our heat to 68 already but we would turn it down to 66. She didn't say anything but went back upstairs. My wife and I slept under two blankets.
    via TroubledHeater
  • 07
    Yesterday, there was a note on our door from her stating that she's been nice in asking us to turn down the heat. That her apartment is still at 74 degrees and it's too hot for her to sleep. She, again, wants the heat lowered and said she would be comfortable if her apartment was at 68 - 70.Here's where I might be the
    via TroubledHeater
  • 08
    . I wrote my own note stating "Dear neighbor, I have complied twice with your requests and that's not good enough for you. If you haven't noticed, we have snow on the ground and it's still in the low 20s and 30s because... it's winter time. If you're still hot in your apartment, perhaps YOU should turn down your own heat, buy a fan or open a few
    via TroubledHeater
  • 09
    windows. My wife and I will NOT freeze ourselves to make YOU comfortable. Our temperature will remain at 69 until the winter is over and spring returns. Do not knock and do not put any more notes on our door. This matter is settled." And placed it on her door.
    via TroubledHeater
  • 10
    This morning, around 5; she was being extra loud (stomping, slamming doors) and when I started to head to work; she called me an before getting into her own car.So Reddit, AITA?
    via TroubledHeater
  • 11
    Thinking TOOLoud 18h ago Partassipant [3] Apparently your upstairs neighbor didn't realize that she could turn down her heat and benefit from the laws of thermodynamics. ΝΤΑ
    via ThinkingT00Loud
  • 12
    Illustrious-Tap5791 18h ago Aficionado [12] NTA. I'd complain to her landlord. That woman must be very dumb. With those temperatures, it's quite easy to figure out how to cool down her apartment... you don't have to freeze because she's stupid. She doesn't get to insult you for that.
    via Illustrious-Tap5791
  • 13
    ladyteruki 18h ago Pooperintendant [67] NTA. You already turned down the heat twice. Your advice that she should look into solutions on her own is sound logic to me. You don't say whether you are renting or owners, but in case a landlord is involved, I'd recommend to get in touch.
    via ladyteruki
  • 14
    He Who_Is_Person 18h ago Craptain [193] ΝΤΑ I'm guessing this is a common problem with houses converted to apartments. She absolutely could open her windows. Of course, bear in mind that if she does do that, cold sinks just as much as heat rises.
    via He_Who_Is_Person
  • 15
    SolmaReddit UserNow 18h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] She can open a freaking window... yeesh. NTA.
    via SolmaRedditUserNow
  • 16
    zombieqatz 18h ago Certified Proctologist [21] Nta if she didn't want to be cozy all winter she shouldn't have gotten an upstairs unit. Her lack of foresight isn't your emergency.
    via zpbieqats
  • 17
    CheezeNewdlz. 18h ago NTA. You were more than generous turning your heat down to 66, which is outside of the comfort zone for most people during the winter. It does sound like an easier solution for her is to crack a window for a while or get a fan instead of harassing her neighbors. If it's that much of an issue then she needs to discuss it with your landlord. Not much a fellow tenant can do about poor ventilation or insulation.
    via CheezeNewdlz
  • 18
    Arkayenro. 17h ago if the only solution you as tenants can work out is for one of you to be uncomfortable then you should probably go to the landlord to get the actual problem fixed so that you can both be comfortable regardless of what temperature the other tenant has set.
    via Arkayenro
  • 19
    AdGroundbreaking4397 17h ago Partassipant [1] Nta. Why would her apartment ment being hotter that hours be anything you can control? If this hasn't been an issue for the past 6 years you're not doing anything to cause it. Her heating is the problem. She needs to lower her temp setting or have her heating serviced. If you rent then talk to the landlord they need to deal with it.
    via AdGroundbreaking4397
  • 20
    Impossible-Bear-8953 17h ago Enthusiast [5] NTA. I had that upstairs apartment. Middle of New England winter and I'd resort to wearing tank tops and shorts in my 75+° apartment. Was it too warm for me? Yup. Did my downstairs neighbor GAF? Probably not, but I never asked him. Just dressed for summer and vented windows on occasion.
    via Impossible-Bear-8953
  • 21
    Whynottits420 - 18h ago Enthusiast [7] That's not how heating works lol why should u turn down the heat when she can do it herself?
    via Whynottis420
  • 22
    Old ManKibbitzer 18h ago NTA since upstairs could crack a window open to cool down. I live in a 2 story and it is 4 to 6 degrees warmer upstairs than down depending on how cold it is outside. I close the bedroom door and open a window to cool the MBR off. Now if I were her AND wanted to be a pain, I would leave the window open all day while at work. Cold air goes down which would cause you to have to heat more .... ie spend more $ on heating your section.
    via OldManKibbitzer
  • 23
    RileysVoice 18h ago You should have just looked at her and grinned, like a really big smile, and then said MORNIN really loud. ΝΤΑ
    via RileusVoice

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arctic aita neighbors upstairs blizzard stubborn freezing snow heating cold heater downstairs winter frozen Reddit passive aggressive
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